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Parents are still telling their kids the same thing we were told in the ’80s: “Just ignore the bully and they’ll go away.” As a former public school teacher with a Master’s in Education, I can tell you that ignoring a problem doesn’t make it disappear—it makes it manifest into something bigger.
Bullying isn’t new. It was here 50 years ago, and it’s here today in the Oak Creek-Franklin Joint School District. The problem is that while schools talk about it constantly, many kids have tuned it out because they don’t want to see themselves as “victims” or “bullies.”
The Vocal Standoff
We need to stop teaching our kids to be passive targets. We need to teach them to stand up. I’m talking about a Vocal Standoff. It is okay for your child to look a bully in the eye and say, “Shut your mouth. I’m not having it today.” That isn’t being a bully; that’s setting a boundary. If the behavior happens twice, it’s no longer a “one-off”—it’s a pattern. That’s when you must involve the teacher and, most importantly, the parents.
The “Parent Gap” in Bully Workshops
When we host bully prevention workshops at Championship Martial Arts – Oak Creek, we ask the kids: “Who should you talk to if you’re being bullied?” You know who is almost always last on the list? Parents.
Kids often think they should tell a teacher or a principal, but they don’t know how to talk to you about it. They are afraid of being seen as weak. This is why you must roleplay the conversation.
The Roleplay Script
Don’t wait for them to come to you. Practice the dialogue back and forth so the words feel natural in their mouth:
“Mom/Dad/Grandma, I’m being bullied at school by [Name]. They are saying [Specifics]. Can you help me?”
When you roleplay this, you give them the “Focus and Grit” to handle the situation before it spirals. Just like we discussed with Hard Target Body Language, your child needs a plan of action, not a suggestion to “ignore it.”
The 3-Step Action Plan (The Snippet Trap)
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The 2-Strike Rule: Teach your child that if someone bothers them twice, it is time to escalate. No more “giving them a chance.”
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Practice the Vocal Standoff: Have your child practice saying “Stop” or “Shut your mouth” with a strong, “Yes, Sir” style voice.
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Initiate the Dialogue: Tonight at dinner, ask: “If someone was being mean to you at school, what exactly would you say to me to get my help?” Roleplay their answer.
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