Did you know that the number one place where kids decide to quit an activity isn’t on the field, on the mat, or in the pool? It’s actually in the backseat of your car on the drive home.
As parents in Oak Creek, we naturally want to help. We want to go into “fix-it” mode the second our child walks off the field. But if we aren’t careful, our “help” can actually cause our kids to shut down. If you’ve ever seen your child’s shoulders slump as soon as you start giving advice, you’ve experienced this firsthand.
The “Parent-Coach” Pitfall
I remember going to karate tournaments in the ’80s and ’90s. If my brother and I didn’t bring home a trophy, my dad would say, “Boy, that trunk is looking a little light today. No hardware? That’s a long way to drive for a light trunk.”
While he meant well, that isn’t the way to build a winner. When we immediately jump into “correct, correct, correct” mode, kids stop hearing the advice and start feeling like they failed. I learned this the hard way as a young teacher with a Master’s degree in education. I once corrected an adult student so much that they looked at me and asked, “Did I do anything right?” I never forgot that.
The Secret Weapon: The PCP Method
If you want to talk to your child about their performance—whether it’s a martial arts tournament, a football game, or a swim meet—you need to use the PCP Method: Praise, Correct, Praise.
1. Start with Praise
Find something specific they did well. “Hey, that kick you did was crazy high!” or “I saw that tackle you made; that was super strong!”
2. The “Dominance” Correction
Instead of telling them what they did wrong, ask them how they can become even better.
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Don’t say: “You need to get your front kick higher.”
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Do say: “What do you think you could work on this week to be even more dominant next time? How can you be an absolute tank out there?”
By framing it this way, you get them thinking about their own growth rather than focusing on a mistake.
3. End with Praise
Wrap the conversation back around to a win. “If you work on that one thing, you’re going to be a monster out there. I’m super proud of that kick you landed today.”
Building Grit in Oak Creek
At Championship Martial Arts – Oak Creek, we use this exact method in our Youth Martial Arts Classes. We want kids to develop “Grit” and an “Indomitable Spirit,” but we know that happens best when they feel supported, not picked apart.
Whether your child is in our Youth Karate Classes or teen programs, we focus on the “Three Pillars”: Learning, Laughing, and Sweating. We push them to be dominant, but we always make sure they know what they did right.
Visit Our Southeast Wisconsin Locations
Stop the backseat quitting and start building real confidence. Visit us at any of our primary locations:
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Oak Creek: Championship Martial Arts – Oak Creek
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Kenosha: Championship Martial Arts – Kenosha
Our Affiliate Locations: